Coping After Traumatic Events
As a nation and community we are together mourning having experienced a collective indescribable grief and outrage of another school shooting, this time taking place at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. According to Education Week, a journalist group that’s been tracking school shootings since 2018, there have been at least 27 shootings on school property since the year 2022 began. The impact of shootings and mass violence and other horrific tragedies like it are felt like a ripple effect touching young and old alike.
These senseless tragedies have happened so often in our nation that at times a dissociative de-sensitization can happen with feelings of numbness, shock, withdrawal, avoidance or withdrawal. One’s psyche is traumatized with a trauma response of fight, flight and freeze taking place. Heightened stress reactions, anxiety, panic and depression are normal symptoms appropriate to distress such as this. Also worrying about going out in public or to school, changes in eating, sleeping, energy level and moods can be signs of anxiety and distress. Children may experience increased separation anxiety from parents and regressed behaviors such as clinging and intense emotional reactions. These are all expected and normal reactions to traumatic events.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network reports there are a wide variety of negative and positive reactions that can be experienced after a traumatic event. These include:
Negative Reactions:
Confusion, disorientation, worry, intrusive thoughts and images, shock, sorrow, grief, sadness, fear, anger, numbness, irritability, guilt and shame, withdrawal, interpersonal conflict, fatigue headache, muscle tension, stomachache, increased heart rate, exaggerated startle response, difficulties sleeping.
Positive Reactions:
Determination and resolve, sharper perception, courage, optimism, faith, feeling involved, challenged, mobilized, social connectedness, altruistic helping behaviors, alertness, readiness to respond, increased energy.
As individuals and as a community how do we begin to cope with trauma such as this? The following are practical tips for coping after a tragedy:
Tips for coping after a Traumatic Event:
1. Talk about it:
Be aware of over-isolating. Reach out to family, friends, to your community, other parents and support networks who you can honestly share your thoughts and feelings of helplessness, anger or despair and who will help provide you with emotional support to help deal with the difficult times.
2. For Children; Help them Express their Emotions:
Children, especially younger children, aren’t always able to name their emotions. Often, anxiety comes out in their behaviors such as with irritability or anger or physical symptoms such as stomach aches or headaches. Model a sense of safety and calmness to your children reassuring them that they are okay. Follow the same routines as usual, encourage them to play and laugh, limit exposure to violence on tv and video games and to viewing the tv news. Encourage them to get rest and eat healthy meals. Answer questions they may have, giving age appropriate answers as best as you can. This allows them to be informed through their parents instead of being informed by social media.
3. Normalize your Feelings:
Pay attention to your emotional health needs. Connect with yourself and recognize what you need at this time. Your feelings are valid. Remember, it is perfectly normal to feel unsafe, unsettled, disturbed and scared after a traumatic event. If you need support, reach out and ask for it from a friend or a professional therapist.
4. Self-Care:
When you feel the world is out of control, focus on things that give you a sense of control in uncertainty such as your self-care mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. Connect with yourself. Maintain a normal routine if possible and give extra attention to engaging in healthy behaviors to enhance your ability to cope with excessive stress. Establish routines that will help you feel grounded such as prayer, meditation, yoga, stretching, exercising, journaling, eating healthy and seeing your therapist.
5. Avoid overexposure to media:
While it is important to stay informed, over exposure to news on shootings, death and tragedies have been shown to cause acute stress and post traumatic stress symptoms. Avoid doom-scrolling and limit being overwhelmed by negative news by taking a break from social media and news sources. When a tragedy occurs, it is easy to have a pessimistic attitude or fall into the mindset that nothing will ever get better. Balance that viewpoint by reminding yourself of people and events that are meaningful and comforting. Seek out uplifting, inspirational sources of news. Striving for balance empowers you to have a healthier perspective of yourself and the world around you.
6. Help Others, Take Action:
Focus on what you can control. When you feel helpless and out of control, ask yourself what is in your control. Take action and make a difference. Can you help others in some way by donating time or resources or contributing to a solution? When you feel you are a part of the solution, the problem seems more manageable such as becoming active with other parents in some way, volunteering or consider contacting your senators and government representatives to help contribute to changes in gun laws and reform. Giving back or being a change agent is not only good for the community, it is good for you as well and can help decrease anxiety and helplessness. Figure out how you can help people affected by the tragedy or spend some time volunteering in your schools or community.
7. Communities Coping with Grief:
When communities are impacted by traumatic events, it can be helpful to come together to honor those who died and find meaning in their deaths in a way that will help everyone in the community recover.
8. Get professional support:
Recognize when you or those around you such as your children may need extra support. It is not uncommon for individuals of all ages to experience stress reactions when exposed (even through media) to shootings or mass violence. Changes in eating and sleeping habits, energy level, and mood are important signs of distress. Watch for regressed behaviors, such as clinging in children and intense emotional reactions, such as anxiety or a strong need for retribution in adults. Reach out to a professional therapist for the support you or your children need. You are not alone.
Additional Resources for Emotional support and taking Action:
1. Disaster Distress Helpline:
Call or text 1-800-985-5990 to speak with a trained counselor for 24/7, free, confidential crisis counseling for individuals experiencing emotional distress related to a natural disaster or human-caused tragedy.
2. Crisis Text Line:
Text “SHARE” to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor for free crisis counseling, emotional support, and mental health resources for anyone experiencing an emotional crisis.
3. Talking to Children About Violence:
For parents, children and educators: visit nasponline.org for an article and resources from the National Association of School Psychologists for tips for parents and school personnel on how to support, care for, and inform children when acts of violence occur.
4. National Parent Helpline:
Call 1-855-427-2736 (10am to 7pm PST) to speak with a trained advocate who can help guide and provide emotional support and resources to parents.
5. Donate:
GoFundMe has created a directory of verified fundraisers for the Robb Elementary School Community and families of the victims. Visit online https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/donate-to-texas-elementary-school-shooting-relief for a list of fundraisers to donate to.
6. Take Action:
Text “ACT” to 644-33 to get updates and action steps from Everytown, the nations’ leading gun safety non-profit.
7. Volunteer:
Become a Disaster mental health volunteer with the American Red Cross.
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.